[continued...]
[continued from previous post cos blogger sucks]
Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick. It contradicts what the Bible teaches about true love. Instead of being selfless, it’s selfish; instead of being patient, it’s impatient; instead of looking out for the ongoing good of the other person, it’s focused on the needs of the moment.
As Christian we should never neglect or ignore our relationships with the opposite sex. Do you know why? Because God tells us that as Christians we have a built-in level of commitment to each other as ‘brothers and sisters’ in Christ (1 Timothy 5:1, 2). We’re family. And while there are limits to how close men and women can be in friendships, we can’t shirk our responsibility to care for, encourage, and build up our brothers and sisters.
But how close can we get before the relationship has to be redefined? How far can we go as friends before our hearts kick into gear? The little relationship principle helps us sort through these difficult questions. We don’t ask for a level of intimacy and emotional loyalty that goes beyond our true level of commitment. If we’re not able to deepen in commitment and pursue the possibility of marriage, we should halt the progression of intimacy at the friendship stage.
What I hope you understand is that this concept transcends the issue of whether you’re officially “dating” someone. Obviously, going on dates and placing yourself in romantically charged settings with someone will usually accelerate the intimacy of your relationship. But you don’t have to go out on a date to become inappropriately intimate. You can do that over the phone, via e-mail, or on group dates. A guy and a girl meeting over lunch isn’t the issue. The issue is whether the intimacy in your relationship is appropriate to your current level of commitment.
Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick. It contradicts what the Bible teaches about true love. Instead of being selfless, it’s selfish; instead of being patient, it’s impatient; instead of looking out for the ongoing good of the other person, it’s focused on the needs of the moment.
As Christian we should never neglect or ignore our relationships with the opposite sex. Do you know why? Because God tells us that as Christians we have a built-in level of commitment to each other as ‘brothers and sisters’ in Christ (1 Timothy 5:1, 2). We’re family. And while there are limits to how close men and women can be in friendships, we can’t shirk our responsibility to care for, encourage, and build up our brothers and sisters.
But how close can we get before the relationship has to be redefined? How far can we go as friends before our hearts kick into gear? The little relationship principle helps us sort through these difficult questions. We don’t ask for a level of intimacy and emotional loyalty that goes beyond our true level of commitment. If we’re not able to deepen in commitment and pursue the possibility of marriage, we should halt the progression of intimacy at the friendship stage.
What I hope you understand is that this concept transcends the issue of whether you’re officially “dating” someone. Obviously, going on dates and placing yourself in romantically charged settings with someone will usually accelerate the intimacy of your relationship. But you don’t have to go out on a date to become inappropriately intimate. You can do that over the phone, via e-mail, or on group dates. A guy and a girl meeting over lunch isn’t the issue. The issue is whether the intimacy in your relationship is appropriate to your current level of commitment.
posted by sheena at 11:23 PM
5 Comments:
Hey..... My girlfriend will be so sad if after reading this i decide to be less intimate with her.
However, it does make sense but those who are already in a relationship, just enjoy what is in front of you and dun look back or else your partner will be so saaddddd....
For singles, its a good help to console yourself!!!
WHY!!!
MR MOO MOO CAN"T BE EMPTY!!!!!!
=( =(
haha heyy! i read that book! :P mebbe u shd go on to read his second one too.. cya in sch!!! all the best for biz law exam. :)
miss sheena soprano quek is also miss sheena philosophical quek.
i personally believe as human beings, we don't know what lies ahead and therefore when we decide to start a rship, whether we want it for serious reasons or not (like marriage), what happens in future remains unknown till it happens. and so, if there are so many unknowns out there tt may turn nasty, should we stop investing in the future? if so, than we'd never reach anywhere. a significant part of life involves taking chances and risks n if we don't take a step out of our comfort zone, we'll nv be able to taste the sweetness cos we've nv been daring enough to risk.
intimacy is part of investing. im not saying tt you should believe in sex before marriage and stuff but im sure a reasonable amt of initimacy is healthy. hurting as it might be when you fall, taking that step might eventually lead to something really sweet. that's my stand la hee. point is, take a step out and you'll see :) nth in life is predictable. study like hell might still fail or end up bankrupt one day! haha so might as well try it. you might end up rich :) in more areas than one.
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