haha. today, i scrambled downstairs cos i remembered that i had a whole basket of clothes to iron before i go out and i was running out of time. but as i reached the laundry room, i panicked a little. cos lo and behold! the basket was EMPTY. i looked around and found the clothes neatly stacked with a note on it "SURPRISE! Love, Mum". :D
people say that sometimes it's the little things in life that makes your day. imo, it's always the little things in life that make you feel loved and blessed. my mama, though she had to rush off to work at 9am and she had lotsa things on her mind (too much, imo). she actually took the effort to iron the clothes and surprise me! :)
i love my momsie.
i've always liked the idea of 'blessing' people and making people feel happy and loved. then sometimes i pull back because i wonder, would he/she reciprocate or does he/she even care about me the way i do. that's the problem in our world today man. no one is willing to take the first step and give. everything is receive receive receive. im gonna stop thinking about this, and give give give :D and show my favourite people that i looooooove them, haha you should too!
yesterday, at the medicine essay/psychometric test at nus, i saw many many random pri/sec/jc schoolmates. everyone i recognised were from top 3 jcs. haha. elitish? yup. 700 people vying for 200 places? eeps. i don't know why but i just dont like seeing familiar faces in such settings. or perhaps i just too paranoid about what people think.
i generally do not like to tell people that i applied for med. those who have been acquainted with me for the past year will recoil/have recoiled in horror "WHAT? i never knew you wanted to take med!! it's so not you." and probably think i've applied just cos i made the grades. haha it's true though. i've never thought of taking med. didnt wanna be a doctor. but what made me change my mind was not the grades, yet i know people who don't understand will scoff at my real reason.
for the past how many years i've always rejected the idea of being a doctor cos i didnt wanna have to wear a white coat and sit around in my small clinic under some shophouses. nor did i relish the idea of having to cut up people's body parts. furthermore, i knew that nus med was for the brightest. and i was hardly in that league :D overseas medical education was also a dead option cos it's just so ex with practically no chances of a scholarship. so i happily striked med off my list. haha.
until recently, i had a Very Concerned Mother trying to tell me that accountancy was a boring field and i'll be bored to death, that i was better off in the health field cos it's more worthwhile and i could better serve the Lord. yup, you heard it. Jesus, during His ministry, healed the sick. that must be an important thing to do. if i have the capabilities and the grades, why not do it too? the adventist circle is short of doctors, or so i've been told by uncle john and pastor danson. having a medical degree allows me to better minister to people both physically and spiritually. but i still do not wanna be a gp at a clinic nor cut up people's body parts in a hospital. i'd want to move on to do mission work, after completing my education and serving my bond with moh. but it's a big step and i dont know if it's actually feasible cos by the time i complete my bond i'd be wanting to settle down with a family. but then again, maybe settling down's not God's plan for me :) ooh. haha. other than the prospects of doing missionary work and being able to actively contribute to the health ministry, i would probably strike med off my list again. but i dont know how much the admissions committee would buy my idea of doing mission work. -shrugs-
on the other hand, being an accountant, what do you do? besides working with numbers, auditing, blah. nothing to directly contribute to His ministry. with an accounting degree i know that i can go far, at least in the corporate world. it's a good income if i work hard. but that's just so selfish isnt it. then again, my family could do with the extra income. my mother has been working far too hard.
haha. it's a tough decision but i'll let God decide :) anyway the road to taking medicine in nus is still subject to many factors. i may nt make it past the faculty admissions and we might not be able to afford it. but if miraculously the road is cleared, i make it into the 200 and my tuition fees are settled, i'll go for it :)
sometimes, it's nice to know that God is in control. that whichever path He chooses for you, you know it's the best for you. so you dont have to worry if you're suddenly thrown into something foreign and unfamiliar cos something good will always come out of it :D something much better than the path you yourself might have chosen to take.
thus im giving all my worries to God, and not overly stressing myself over matters that only God is in control of.
i want this to be a happier/viewer-friendly blog, and hopefully uplifting and encouraging to the people who read this. i know the viewership would definitely decline, cos most voyeurs/acquaintances only read blogs to 'update' themselves on the lives of people they dont even give two hoots about (ie. kaypohs). i do not deny that i belong to this category of the busybodies. but im trying to curb this unhealthy habit, ha.
then again, blogs are for narcissists. and we all are, to a certain degree. actually, blogs fuel narcissism. and most people who blog, want attention. even in very subtle ways. they want people to read their blogs. they type about their 'glorious' lives hoping that people would form a certain impression of them and think "wow, he/she is so cool" or blah. haha i dont say it's wrong. it's perfectly fine :)
the only thing that irks me are entries that attack people. those "you think you're so great huh, well you're NOT cos no one respects you" kinda entries that shoot people down indirectly. no one can sue the writers cos they are "not directly attacking anyone by name what". but it makes readers who think/know that it's them, feel uncomfortable, cause misunderstandings. i've been the target and it's not very nice. usually due to a misunderstanding of sort. and the emotional wounds are deep. it sets the grounds for others to talk and gossip, and it cuts your wounds even more deeply.
so, i just closed down pitas because i wanted to stop fuelling my narcissism. i loved myself too much. there's more to this world than myself and thinking about myself and my problems. i admit that sometimes when i blog(ged) i hoped for people to emphatise. i am not a secure person but im getting better, i hope :) i also closed it down cos i was sick of random people and acquaintances reading my blog with no good intention. i also hoped to stop emotionally 'abusing' anyone cos i know i've done that before and usually i type it when im feeling all "righteous" and don't think im hurting anyone.
this chic lady will be different :) i hope so at least. so if you're here to find out ifihaveaboyfriend or howididformyalevels, im sorry but you won't find any daily rantings here, you nosey poker ;)
whoops, i did say i'll stop the emotional abuse ;)
