Thursday, May 25, 2006

God's little miracles.

so things did amazingly turn out for the better :D im in a good, happy mood now, haha.

on saturday night/sunday, i felt like i was caught in a situation that cldn't have a proper solution cos whichever way i turned, i felt like i was offending someone. but things turned out great ;) and it seemed like God was blessing me more and more each day.

i postponed my flight (without taxing my sponsors financially) and managed to go for my scholarship interview ;) then cos my interview was dragged, i only managed to reach the airport check-in counter like at.. 4.32pm (i checked). my flight was at 5.10pm, and we had to check in 40mins before departure, i was 2mins late haha. but after the airport cust svc man went into a frenzy i managed to check my luggage in and board the plane on time :D

i was honestly terrified at first. of flying alone.. not so much the flying that scared me. i was more afraid of being in manila airport alone, what if someone tried to trick me or i followed the wrong person to my hotel. but, it was alright. i prayed like, super hard. haha i met the lady who was picking me up and got to the hotel safely, yay.

then after that i was so afraid i wldnt be able to make any friends, but the filipino youth are so friendly! ;D they're such wonderful people. it's just a pity we only spent 2 days together. the city tour and the shopping was good (heehee). the talks and plenary sessions and friendship groups were good. stuff we learnt very applicable to balestier youth i hope maybe we can organize sth like that ;)

after this whole experience, i've decided that philippines has the best service ever! perhaps it's the culture, but i was duly impressed ;)

postponed flight, scholarship interview, successful check-in, safe arrival at hotel, scholarship offer, wonderful filipino youth and roomie, many good lessons learnt, another scholarship offer.

hmm, can't be all a coincidence. heh ;) happy happy praise the Lord! :D

Monday, May 22, 2006

:D !

sorry mich, i cldnt resist ripping this off your blog ;)

sexy fel, sweet manda and surprisers mich and i!

:D !
now, i just need to catch the juniors online for their piccies. SNCHOIR, love!

coconut nut!


so im feeling more relieved now. and yes, im still in singapore! flying off tonight instead. kinda scary cos i've never flown alone before. plus a coach to the hotel in the middle of the night? manila's not exactly the safest place, just pray i don't get abducted :S

on the other hand i have an interview later! feeling relieved that they havent written off my case. this weekend has been full of tentatives, what if this, what if that. but now i know where im heading, mostly. waiting for pwc's phonecall today, cross my fingers!

yesterday mich and i made an IMPULSIVE decision, haha im so happy. at 6pm we decided to head down to VCH to support two of our darlings ;) and im glad i went! in a sick kinda way im glad my flight was cancelled and postponed to today. so i could go see them sing haha. but they refused to believe that i cancelled my flight just to hear them sing hahahahahahha :D

fel and manda!! love <3 ! we kept cooing abt how cute you two looked on stage (nt that we cld really see fel cos her position was terrible) EH FEL I DIDNT SHAKE ET'S HAND.

mich!! i love you lots too! hahaha, maybe we can go for next year's hc concert to see your cute giraffe again. teehee. "-shakes head- in the cocotree!" HAHAHA.

we seriously need to meet up soon, dinner is simply not enough! pool party? -looks at jiax- HEE.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

moral dilemma

caught in a moral dilemma. i've never been stuck in such a situation before. i feel like my conscience is niggling at me. this is what it means to feel TORN.

by cancelling the trip i feel like i've thrown away a certain amount of trust and confidence people had in me though it wasnt my suggestion. i feel obliged because i know the sponsorship for my trip didnt come easy and my attendance is truly a privilege.

yet the interview is like miracle cos i didnt expect my appeal to have been successful, much less acted upon in less than 3 days. then i have an obligation the other side too for writing my appeal in the first place. wldnt you be cheesed off if you've received an appeal from someone and granted the person an interview yet the fella seems to be the one calling the shots regarding the interview slot. oh gosh, this is ridiculous.

oh GOD. Your will be done, please.

and please pray for me too

Sunday, May 14, 2006

-contented sigh-

Cherish the Treasure

I cherish the treasure
The treasure of you
Lifelong companion
I give myself to you
God has enabled me
To walk with you faithfully
And cherish the treasure
The treasure of you

As I obey the Spirit's voice
And seek to do His will
I then can see the wisdom of His plan
For as He works His will in me
I then can love you selflessly
And by His grace, can pledge my love to you

This sacred vow I make to you
Does not contain an "if"
Though I'm aware that trials lie ahead
I will love you and pray with you
And through it all, I will stay with you
Our home will be a refuge of unconditional love

this is sooo nice! karen showed me this song in the youth room today and it gave me such a nice warm fuzzy feeling :D love and marriage is such a beautiful sacred thing! when i get married i wanna sing this song at my church wedding ;)

which means, my hubby-to-be must be able to sing! in tune :D yups, that's one of my impt criterias, muahaha. ladidums.

hee hee, im suddenly feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

:D !

i've been asked by two people to get a tagboard. but why? there's that little comments thing at the end of every entry to leave a nice little note! :D i dont like taggies cos they dun have enough space, must always cut short msg to fit character limit. haha -shrugs- maybe i'll get one if i suddenly feel like it. i dunnooo.

maaaanda! - i left you a tag but its so short so i'll have to leave you a message here ;) i miss you can u please come online soon and not appear as Busy? :D:D:D:D if nt we'll have to continue leaving notes and ripping off each other's blog! and what about buy-pe-shorts day? march april and may have gone by :( we're horrible. hee, meet up soon (maybe in smu) haha and love you missy! God bless you :)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

phone calls.

i am sooooo thick-skinned. im gonna make my brave phonecall (albeit 4th) to smoo tomorrow.

i used to be terrified of phonecalls. i daren't make phonecalls cos i was very afraid of sounding stupid and start stuttering. other then casual phonecalls to friends, i avoided other phonecalls like plague. even customer service officers!

until this year, i needed a JOB. so i had to start making phonecalls to strangers. and i used to draft what i had to say. haha this is so funny i dont believe im admitting one of my greatest weakness! but, ahem, it's a thing of the past now ;) now i speak with great confidence, muahaha.

i actually ENJOY making phonecalls to strangers now im so weird right. minus the THICK-SKINNED phonecalls such as the one mentioned above. those require a bit more guts.

but hey, when i really want something and believe i should at least be given a chance to, i can be very aggressive.

daphne just told me that im a very lucky girl cos even though i dont study as hard as i shld i get reasonably happy grades. even though i know nth abt accountancy, pwc has shortlisted me till 2nd round.

well, i told her it's not luck. then i told her my secret.

hee hee, you all wanna know my secret?


it's PRAYER :D

she didn't buy it though but i fully vouch for it!

ohh, and the sabbath too :) if i didnt rest on that one special day every week i would have burnt out by the time i took my papers. so, yay!

Monday, May 08, 2006

love :D

found this while blog-hoppin :D i remembered posting this on my pitas in sec4, so here it is again. love for a lover, love for a friend ;)

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.

We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'

We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.

An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.

Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.

A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.

A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'

We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.

The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.

The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.

If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.

It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present WITH someone. It is a matter of being present TO someone.

So remember ... If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.

Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

polling day

my mommy voted at 7.45pm today when polling stations closed at 8 haha.

im really quite excited about the results. i think im more excited than my mom really. she's SLEEPING.

RAH, been listening to the radio but no news yet though it's twenty past ten. nokia 7370's loudspeaker is really very loud, yay.

haha :D

Thursday, May 04, 2006

of garage sales & elections.

for the friends who have heard me harping on about the upcoming garage sale, it's been postponed indefinitely cos we might be able to keep the house for a while longer afterall :D

but that depends on who wins this election in my grc :S

living in one of the hotspots this elections is really quite exciting. the vans go by everyday and the mailbox has been chokeful of newsletters and souvenirs. (there's this magnet with the MPs faces on it). i really want to check out wp's rallies but tomorrow's the last night and im not free, BAHH. haha at least i managed to catch snippets of monday's rally at ecp with jane's live commentaries through sms and phone. i wasn't particularly impressed with what i heard/read but i still wanna check it out myself actually. hahah. curiosity.

been wanting to give my two cents on the GE but i've decided that i shant for fear of sounding stupid and uninformed :D

wonder if i'll get to vote next GE haha i hope my grc will be contested. so much saga this year. or at least this is the first time i've taken notice of singapore politics. (call me apathetic but i wasnt too interested in sec 2) but there's too much finger-pointing in politics, opposition especially. what happened to trying to show us an alternative government instead of shooting down the ruling party? that's what it's about i guess? eeps, politics. now pap is starting to look silly with the gomez incident.

haha, we had politics in school, in choir, everywhere. and it wasnt pretty. i wonder how these ppl feel under the immense limelight and pressure then, haha :D

ok im starting to sound stupid, BYE.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

yummy :D

doesnt this make you hungry! :) and so nicely arranged on the plate, heehee. i suspect im a culinary genius! i just mindlessly piled them on while delighting myself with the spread at the buffet table ;) natural talent, how useful. haha.

the chicken is yummy, i ate about 7 pieces :D

RAH, i know i was there just two weeks back (look at our happy faces :D) but im craving for my sizzler's buffet agaaain! heh, whenwhenwhenwhenwhen! :D

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

youth choir

heh, prayers are always answered, guidance is always given. through the most amazing ways! :D

got this off manda's blog ;)

Lord, sometimes I wish I was the one who always had the stage,
that people thought I was wonderful and always gave me praise.
I'd love to get the glory. I'd love to steal the show.
I'd love to watch them standing when I look into the rows.
But what if tonight when I walked on stage I found I was alone,
And all the seats were empty and everyone else was home?
Can I honestly say that I would stay and do my best for You-
If no one else was there to notice all of the things I do?

It makes me wonder....

Would I give it my all if I were always standing on an empty stage?
Would I still go the distance if no one gave me praise?
Would I want to shine so brightly if I was only in Heavenly light?
Lord, would I care to share if it was just You here tonight?
What motivates my actions in everything I do?
Am I really just serving me while pretending I'm serving You?
Lord, You know how much I need to hear that everyone knows my name.
But if they don't know Yours, how much have I really gained?
So if I should ever stand on stage and listen to the cheers,
Remind me that it's just noise unless Yours are the claps I hear.
Whatever I do in this life, may I always long for Your praise.
Whenever I look to the world for esteem, may Your blood humble me back into place.
And if I should ever get angry for not receiving the credit I'm due,
Lord, remind me that instead of a pat on the back, they gave a cross to You.

i hope to always remember this, esp with the youth choir. it's such a daunting task, but i must remember that i am not doing this for myself. i am so afraid at times, of what people/members think or what people will think when we do perform. there are so few of us, are we good enough? can we even be considered a choir? what if no one has anything good to say about us? what if i can't lead the choir well and i'm just not musically qualified enough? how far can i lead with my limited musical knowledge and experience?

i love singing. i want others to share my joy too. but i am (was?) really scared. i don't feel that i can 'impart' vocal knowledge or teach songs properly. i hoped to be reassured with praises but i must remember that this is nt why i started the youth choir in the first place.

karen said, this choir is what we "daringly embarked on because we know it is a calling from the Big Guy up there" :D and i must remember that it is for His glory and not mine.

here's a summarized version of sth she shared with me, perhaps it'll be an inspiration to whoever's reading this too. doesnt have to apply to music but it reassures me in many ways :D

Talents used are talents multiplied. God does not supernaturally endow us with the qualifications we
lack; but while we use that which we have, He will work with us to increase and strengthen every faculty. While we yield ourselves as instruments for the Holy Spirit's working, the grace of God works in us to deny old inclinations, to overcome powerful propensities, and to form new habits.

The humble worker who obediently responds to the call of God may be sure of receiving divine assistance. To accept so great and holy a responsibility is itself elevating to the character. It calls into action the highest mental and spiritual powers, and strengthens and purifies the mind and heart. Through faith in the power of God, it is wonderful how strong a weak man may become, how decided his efforts, how prolific of great results.

He who begins with a little knowledge, in a humble way, and tells what he knows, while seeking diligently for further knowledge, will find the whole heavenly treasure awaiting his demand. The more he seeks to impart light, the more light he will receive. The more one tries to explain the word of God to others, with a love for souls, the plainer it becomes to himself. The more we use our knowledge and exercise our powers, the more knowledge and power we shall have.

Every effort made for Christ will react in blessing upon ourselves. If we use our means for His glory, He will give us more. As we seek to win others to Christ, bearing the burden of souls in our prayers, our own hearts will throb with the quickening influence of God's grace; our own affections will glow with more divine fervor; our whole Christian life will be more of a reality, more earnest, more prayerful.

haha okay, goodnight world :)


i had never gone for a worse interview in my life (except maybe the sn choir one in sec 3), i was just stumped and mostly caught unaware. i felt so pressured by the evil profs and i nearly cried in the middle of my 1st interview. perhaps it was due to the content of my interview that made me a little emotional or perhaps i just cldnt handle it. im not angry that this interview (supposedly with a heavier weightage) would cost me a place in med but it was the fact that i didnt handle this interview the best i could. ugh. if i dont get a place, i'd be happier knowing that i had done my best and im probably not suited or not good enough. BUT i had to mess it up.

at least the 2nd interview was more relaxing. glad i lost my way walking to the 2nd interview so that gave me some time to compose myself.

strangely, in the middle of both interviews (when i was lost), PwC called me to "invite me to the scholarship interview". means i got shortlisted again after that first round of selection! :)

i don't understand. it was so ironic, the timing of the call. i thought med was what i could do to serve but then again maybe im just nt cut out for it. maybe my mom and the church people were mistaken to push me in a direction that they thought would help me better serve the Lord. the path that i had initial inhibitions about. i agree it's a better direction, i thought maybe God has a plan for me in med. so i prayed about it and gave it a shot, and since then i thought it perhaps it was a better path too and i slanted away from accountancy towards med.

but now they arent gonna be offering me a place in med (im fairly sure), and PwC calls me up just after i walked out of my 1st interview feeling so shaken? coincidence? hmm..

i dunno la, we'll see how things go. i do my best, let God do the rest :D